How to Build Confidence & Step into Your Power

I never saw myself as a confident person. I wasn’t the one who spoke up first or put myself out there. I second-guessed everything: my decisions, my abilities, my worth. And for a long time, I let that lack of confidence hold me back. I played small. I stayed in my comfort zone.

Then life pushed me out of it.

When I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, when I faced surgery after surgery, when my body forced me to slow down and rebuild—it changed me. I didn’t have the option to stay in my comfort zone anymore. I had to speak up for myself in doctor’s offices. I had to advocate for my own health. I had to set boundaries, say no, and prioritize myself in ways I never had before. And through all of it, I realized something:

Confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about showing up, even when you’re scared.

I didn’t wake up one day feeling confident. I built it. Step by step, choice by choice. And along the way, I discovered my own strength. I learned that I was capable of more than I ever gave myself credit for. I realized my worth wasn’t tied to anyone’s approval but my own.

So if you’re struggling with confidence, I see you. I’ve been you. And I promise—you can step into your power, too. Here’s how:

1. Stop Waiting for Perfect

If I had waited for the perfect moment to feel strong, I’d still be waiting. Confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers. It comes from trying, from failing, from figuring it out along the way.

Whatever you’re hesitating on—take the first step. Messy action is better than no action at all.

2. Keep Promises to Yourself

After my health struggles, I realized how often I put myself last. I would say I’d take care of myself, but I’d push through exhaustion instead. I would say I’d prioritize my well-being, but I’d let other people’s needs come first. Confidence grows when you follow through on what you say you’ll do. If you say you’re going to move your body today, move it. If you say you’re going to start the project, start it. Keeping promises to yourself builds trust in yourself. And that trust? That’s confidence.

3. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

For years, I let my own thoughts hold me back. You’re not strong enough. You don’t deserve this. You’re not capable. But I’ve learned that just because a thought crosses your mind doesn’t mean it’s true.

The way you talk to yourself matters. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? If not, it’s time to rewrite the narrative.

Try this:

Instead of “I can’t do this,” say “I am learning, and I will figure it out.”

Instead of “I’m not good enough,” say “I am worthy, exactly as I am.”

What you tell yourself becomes what you believe. Speak to yourself with the same kindness you give to others.

4. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone—Daily

If my health journey taught me anything, it’s that growth never happens in comfort. I didn’t choose to step outside my comfort zone—it was forced on me. But looking back, I see how much I gained from it.

Now, I challenge myself to do one thing every day that stretches me. It doesn’t have to be big—maybe it’s sending that email, having a hard conversation, trying something new. The more you push your limits, the more confident you become in your ability to handle whatever comes next.

5. Set Boundaries & Protect Your Energy

This was a hard one for me. I used to be a people-pleaser, always putting others first, even when it drained me. But my health journey made me realize—I can’t pour from an empty cup.

Confidence means knowing your worth and refusing to settle for less. It means saying no without guilt. It means surrounding yourself with people who respect your boundaries and lift you up, not those who take advantage of your kindness. I still struggle with this from time to time, but it's so important.

6. Own Your Wins

I used to brush off my achievements. It’s not a big deal. Anyone could do it. But why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we minimize our own success?

Take a moment to look at how far you’ve come. Maybe you’re not where you want to be yet, but you are further than you were yesterday. That matters. Celebrate it. Own it. Let it fuel you forward.

7. Remember: You Are Already Enough

You don’t need permission to be confident. You don’t need to be “more” of anything. You already have everything you need inside you.

I wish I had realized that sooner. I spent so much time doubting myself when all along, I had the strength to handle whatever came my way. I just had to step into it.

And now? I refuse to play small.

You deserve to take up space. You deserve to chase your dreams. You deserve to step into your power.

So take the first step. You don’t have to feel ready. You just have to begin.