An Unexpected Twist: Processing the Next Chapter in My Journey

It’s taken me a few days to sit down and write this update. While the news I received is mostly good—and even hopeful—there’s an unexpected twist that’s been a lot to process. I’ll be honest: it’s terrifying, but it’s also a reminder of how unpredictable life can be.

And through it all, I’m holding onto gratitude for where I am today and hope for what’s to come.

The Good News

Let’s start with the positives because there are some big wins worth celebrating.

The swelling in my optic nerves has gone down significantly—almost back to normal. 🙌 While I still struggle to drive at night and need a new prescription for my glasses, I’m no longer at risk of losing my vision. Just typing that feels like a relief I didn’t know I needed.

I can also stop taking blood thinners and Diamox completely. While I’m still dealing with some headaches, they’re nowhere near what I was experiencing before. I’ve been given the option of trying a different medication if necessary, but for now, I’m choosing to see what life feels like without the side effects of nasty meds or worrying about my kidneys.

As for my stent? It’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to. Blood is flowing the way it should, and there’s no sign of clots or narrowing around it. That’s a huge win, and I’m so grateful for the amazing team at Mayo Clinic who made this possible.

Ovarian Challenges and Prediabetes

While I don’t have PCOS, my ovaries seem to love making cysts. Unfortunately, the medications that could help aren’t an option for me—they can increase brain pressure and even feed the type of tumor I have.

On top of that, there’s concern that I may be prediabetic. So, 2020 will be the year of healthy eating, lifestyle changes, and potentially starting metformin to prevent diabetes. It’s not the news I wanted, but it’s manageable, and I’m ready to tackle it head-on.

The Tumor Twist

Here’s where the unexpected twist comes in, and it’s the part that’s been the hardest to process.

We had just left my neurosurgeon’s office after a routine follow-up when I got a call asking me to come back. The surgeon wanted to speak with me directly about my tumor and discuss a different option than the “wait and watch” approach I’d been given before.

He believes it’s in my best interest to have the tumor removed sooner rather than later. Right now, it’s at a size where he has the best chance of removing it entirely and preventing it from coming back. While they don’t always operate on this type of tumor, my age makes this case rare, and the timing feels critical.

To say this news was overwhelming is an understatement. After a year full of surgeries, I had truly hoped that chapter of my life was closed. But as I’ve learned, life doesn’t always work the way we want it to.

Processing the Fear

The idea of another surgery—especially one of this magnitude—is terrifying. I’m trying to hold space for all the emotions I’m feeling: fear, frustration, sadness, and even anger. At the same time, I know I’m incredibly fortunate to have options, a skilled medical team, and the support of everyone around me.

Some days, I feel like a hot mess express, and that’s okay. I remind myself that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed when faced with life-changing decisions. But as scary as this all is, I know someone out there is facing even greater challenges. And I’m so thankful that I get to spend the holidays surrounded by the people I love most. 💜

Looking Forward

As I process this unexpected twist, I’m trying to focus on the things I can control: my mindset, my gratitude, and my faith. Someday, I’ll look back on this year and see how much stronger it made me. For now, I’m taking things one day at a time and holding onto the belief that brighter days are ahead.

To everyone who has supported me with thoughts, prayers, and kind words—you’ve carried me through some of my darkest moments, and I can’t thank you enough. Please keep me in your prayers as I prepare for what’s next.

Here’s to 2020 being a year of healing, growth, and maybe even a little peace. 💜